I'm not totally pleased with this article, but I'm proud of the fact that I managed to work in Pabst, Pall Mall, and Taz references into the same article.
January 11, 2007
To be honest, I'm torn on the subject.
On one hand, I like that I can now go into a restaurant and not come out suffering from a carcinogen-induced headache.
On the other hand, I can't help but roll my eyes at the "sheeple" for enthusiastically giving the government yet more control over their own lives.
Of course, I'm referring to the new Ohio smoking ban that "went into effect" last month. Those quotation marks are my way of signifying sarcasm, because while smoking in public establishments in Ohio is technically illegal, the department of health can't do anything about enforcement until April at the earliest.
Boyd Hoddinott, health commissioner in Logan County, Ohio, bemoaned this difficult situation in a recent Associated Press article: "It's kind of a mess. Because we can't enforce the ban at this time, people think it's a green light to break the law."
No kidding. When customers are reportedly checking for ashtrays before getting a table, what do you expect the owners to do? Money talks. According to the same article, a chain of four restaurants called Cold Beer & Cheeseburgers enforced the ban and saw business fall by 20 percent as customers relocated to restaurants that continued to permit smoking.
"Some people who would usually come here for lunch and a drink are now going to a neighborhood bar because they can still smoke there," owner Bob Byers told the Associated Press. "That's the problem. Some bars are allowing smoking because they feel they have nothing to lose. No one is enforcing it."
Certainly lawmakers saw this coming, right? Couldn't the whole situation have been avoided by, I don't know, mapping out enforcement strategies before the law went into effect? Crazy idea, I know.
In an article last month, I criticized Ohio voters for helping to further inflate big government. I still believe business owners, especially bar owners, should be able to make the rules in their own establishments. I may be one of about four University of Cincinnati students that don't drink, but prohibiting smoking in bars makes about as much sense to me as banning hot dogs at baseball games.
Plenty of area restaurants had banned smoking well before the new law ever hit the ballots. My favorite Applebee's location has been smoke-free for years and it's still busy every time I'm there. Apparently, there actually are people that can enjoy good conversation and good food for 90 minutes without lighting up 14 times.
I remember the days before we banned smoking. My friends and I would arrive around 10 p.m., and seemingly every night a couple would sit down at a bar table around 11 p.m. with their two youngsters in tow. The parents, usually sporting matching mullets and "Taz" T-shirts, would enjoy "family time" by downing a few bottles of Pabst Blue Ribbon and sucking down half a pack of Pall Malls, while the kids would enjoy some grilled cheese and a Coke. As they would leave at 12:45 a.m., the two youngsters would resemble zombies, a combination of exhaustion, second-hand smoke and malnutrition.
At least the smoking ban will get rid of one way children's health is abused.
And so I'm torn. While I'm annoyed by the masses putting yet another arrow of power into big government's bloated quiver, I can't help but enjoy the fact that I can go out anywhere and not worry about sucking down smoke all night.
So keep patting big government on the back for protecting you. We'll see what song you're singing the day they try and take away your right to yack on your cell phone in public. Some studies show those cause cancer, too.
But that's another rant altogether.
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The insomnia is really getting out of control. I'm starting to feel physically ill from the lack of sleep. Wedding tomorrow, still have a best man speech to write...
You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."
Posted on 2006.12.05 at 23:28 Current Mood: quixotic
People walk around today calling everyone their best friend. The term doesn’t have any real meaning anymore. Mere acquaintances are lavished with hugs and kisses upon a second or at most, third meeting, birthday cards get passed around offices so everyone can scribble a sentimentality for a colleague they’ve barely met. And everyone just...loves everyone. As a result when you tell somebody to love them today...it isn’t much heard. I love you Denny. You are my best friend. I can’t imagine going through life without you as my best friend. I’m not going to kiss you however.
Posted on 2006.12.04 at 20:27 Current Mood: annoyed
I got my project back today after I took my exam. I thought I was going to get a subpar grade on it because I didn't think I put a whole lot of effort into it. I ended up getting a lot better grade than I thought I would, and a better grade than a lot of people that probably put more effort into it than I did. I win.
I recently discovered that after dark, I can get a lot of Chicago AM stations in on the radio. I'm happy about this, just because.
I've got a free meal at Moe's coming my way next time I go, which will probably be tomorrow.
applebee's last night and there's not a whole lot I have to say about that.
Posted on 2006.11.29 at 16:05 Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: I Want To Hold Your Hand
Here's my latest article. Pardon my smugness.
11/29/06 "New Year's Resolutions for Students" By Jeremy Loomis
The end of the quarter is upon us, which for most of us means cramming for exams and finishing that project we've been avoiding for nine and a half weeks. Once that last exam is handed in, it's home sweet home until Jan. 3.
However, between now and then, there's one day I'd just rather sleep through this year. New Year's Day is right up there with Valentine's Day and Groundhog Day as one of my least favorite "holidays."
Every year it's the same story. On Jan. 1, everyone makes a big fuss about their vague, far-fetched resolutions. "I resolve to lose weight!" "I resolve to stop smoking!" "I resolve to be a nicer person!" By Jan. 7, everyone has broken their promises and you don't hear another mention of "resolutions" until next year.
I believe people make these implausible resolutions for much the same reason the political left enjoys pouring so much money into failing social programs: it doesn't matter if you fail, the fact that you "tried" makes you feel good about yourself.
This year, instead of undertaking a 100-pound weight loss by swimsuit season, try keeping one of these simple resolutions that I promise will make our campus a more sane, more efficient learning environment. They're easy to follow, and they benefit everyone.
Resolution #1: Do your part to improve the flow of campus foot traffic.
People are pretty good about keeping to the right when they're driving. However, this basic logic frequently goes unheeded when people walk down the sidewalk or through the halls or entering and exiting doors. I decided long ago that if someone is going to be ignorant by walking on the wrong side, I'm just going to walk right into them. And if you and your buddies are walking up stairs or down a narrow hallway, is it necessary to block the entire corridor by walking five or six abreast?
Resolution #2: Enroll in a self-defense class.
Seemingly every other day I'm getting e-mails about the latest robbery around campus. Two weeks ago, a student was stuck up on Campus Green. This potential serial robber must be a real John Dillinger to have evaded capture for this long.
It seems the university has more than enough resources to write ticket after ticket to students whose parking meters ran out, but where are all of these officers when these incidents occur?
Taking our security into our own hands might be our only chance of restoring safety to the campus.
Resolution #3: Use garbage cans.
I'm no militant environmentalist, but what's so hard about throwing your trash in a garbage can? They are all over campus. The same goes for smokers. Throw your butts where they belong.
I cannot count the number of times I've been driving behind an old Jetta plastered with 2,782 environmental bumper stickers, and watched as the snobby driver flicks his still-burning Chesterfield out the window. Consistency, anyone?
Call me smug now, but you'll all be thanking me if this campus is running much smoother come Jan. 3. Trust me. Until then, however, have a safe and enjoyable break.
The election is finally over, and the votes have been counted, which means I'll unfortunately have to go back to enjoying my weekly dose of Boston Legal without all of the uplifting political ads.
According to Ohio Secretary of State Ken Blackwell, 53 percent of the state's 7.8 million registered voters decided it was worth it to make their voices heard last Tuesday.
Those of us who actually voted noticed some changes in the voting process. Instead of our old friend the punch card, we were now handed a new two-page ballot. Obviously, the old technique of punching a hole was too straightforward. Now, voters are required to color in a large rectangle next to the candidate's name with a Bic, which turned a once-quick process into a 15-minute ordeal.
As everyone already knows, Democrats swept both the House and the Senate, as well as Ohio's governor seat.
This election was different from the last couple, however, in that the losers quietly accepted defeat instead of litigating and carrying on about voter disenfranchisement.
Judging from the results, I wasn't the only political conservative that felt unrepresented by my electoral choices. Up until right before the election, I swore that I wasn't going to vote for Steve Chabot or Mike DeWine, simply because of their votes on the Security and Accountability for Every Port Act, which among other things, severely limited the ability of poker players to play online. However, visions of Harry Reid as Senate Majority Leader and Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House ended up scaring me straight.
While the Democratic takeovers in Congress were expected, more interesting to me were the results of some of the local and state issues.
I was ecstatic to see Issue 3 get shot down. Did anyone else find it interesting that none of the TV ads or postcard mailings promoting Issue 3 ever mentioned where these schooling funds would come from? No pictures of old ladies pulling one-armed bandits, just lots of images of happy, smiling children.
The simple fact that Issue 3 advocates went to such great lengths to avoid mentioning slot machines altogether was enough for me to vote no. If they won't be honest about the basic premise of the issue, I don't trust them to be honest about where the money will actually go.
I'm a non-smoker, but I was disappointed to see Issue 5 pass. Granted, I find it pretty pathetic that many smokers don't have the self control to spend an hour in a restaurant without sucking down half a pack of Kools, but I believe a business owner should have the right to choose the smoking status of his own establishment, just as I have the right to patronize his non-smoking competitors instead. One more government regulation to deal with.
The passage of a smoking ban is just another reason for Cincinnatians to flock across the river to spend their entertainment dollar.
But now that the election is over, it's time for everyone to put aside their partisan differences and work together on the important issues, and all the other feel-good things that politicians like to verbalize but never actually do. "We the people" have non-solutions to immigration, Social Security and the war to look forward to.
And don't forget that 2008 Hillary Clinton presidential campaign.
So yesterday I was at school all day long. And then met up with everyone at Borders/Applebees again. Apparently my household hints aren't appreciated much. My new article was supposed to be in the paper today, but as far as I know there is no paper today. So maybe tomorrow. We shall see. I saw something I'm Sunday that I'm pretty pissed I didn't get a picture of. Basically, I was driving behind this big F-250 and apparently the owner had placed two egg-shaped objects inside some pantyhose, tied it up, and had it hanging from his trailer hitch. Really classy overall.
Every time I look out the window, this is what I have to look at. What kind of person plans this out in their head and says to themself, "yea, this is gonna look awesome"??
Good times at Borders/Applebees last night and a nice walk. Didn't see Gary on the walk. Sad.
Posted on 2006.11.25 at 19:54 Current Location:in your house Current Mood: morose Current Music: Rockapella - Angels We Have Heard on High
Last night I had a dream that I was driving through Knoxville, Tennessee by myself. For whatever reason, the city was densely packed with casinos and bright lights. Then all of a sudden, there was a huge power outage and the whole town went dark. And then I got pulled over, and in spite of not having my drivers license or proof of insurance with me, I got off with only a warning. And that was that.
Applebees and maybe Borders tonight.
Tomorrow's agenda: church drive out to deliveranceville, ohio to cut down a Christmas tree, which I do enjoy. watch da' Bears game. who knows
Posted on 2006.11.24 at 16:33 Current Mood: discontent Current Music: The Beatles - Beatles for Sale
Today I went running for the first time in 2,829 days. With my dog. A little over two miles maybe, I don't remember the exact length. It was good. It was sunny today for about the 5th day in a row which also hasn't happened in 2,892 days. Because of that, my outlook on life has been slightly more positive than it was when it was dreary for 8 weeks straight. The other night at Andre's, Brian and I determined that we both suffer and/or have suffered from Seasonal Affective Disorder. And I was just thinking about how it was strange because I look forward to winter and I love snow and I enjoy the cold to an extent. The only thing that really bothers me is the lack of daylight. And lo and behold, Wikipedia (the gospel truth, i'm aware) says: "Seasonal mood variations are believed to be related mostly to daylight, not temperature." Thought so! It was good to see and talk to some people Wednesday night that I don't see often enough. Even if it was noisy/hot/toomanykids in there. That same night, I also solidified my belief that I cannot play poker if there aren't any stakes. I just lose interest. It doesn't even have to be money, it just has to be something. If there's nothing happening after work I'll be sad. And there probably won't be.
Underappreciated Beatles song of the day: "What You're Doing" from the Beatles For Sale album.
Look what you're doing, I'm feeling blue and lonely, Would it be too much to ask of you, What you're doing to me?
You got me running and there's no fun in it, Why should it be so much to ask of you, What you're doing to me?
I've been waiting here for you, Wond'ring what you're gonna do, Should you need a love that's true, It's me.
Please stop your lying, you've got me crying, girl, Why should it be so much to ask of you, What you're doing to me?
I go through periods where all I listen to is the Beatles, and then I don't listen to them for months at a time. They're my winter music, I think.
I had a dream the other night that I was playing poker with Candice Bergen. I got an email today from the newspaper asking me to write another article for next week. I need an idea. I'm loving the new Beatles cd.
English Genius You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 80% Expert!
You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!
Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!
Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I
reach for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained
blows opon him, I realized there had to be another way!
You don't need glasses, you're just weak! You're weak!
Have you seen the pole, Krueger?
It's made from aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.
The tradition of Festivus begins with
the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people!
And now you're gonna hearabout it!
Kruger,
you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe..
I lost my train of thought.
Posted on 2005.07.11 at 15:39 Current Music: Genesis - Turn it On Again
Went to Chicago for the 4th. Activities included visiting with family, going down to the Cubs game, going to the fireworks downtown, a rainy 4th, visiting with family, xtreme mini-golf, visiting with family, and scoring $4 Cubs hats from Kohls. The game was boring until the ninth inning after which it was action packed until the end in the 12th. Some hippy bastard in a tie-dyed shirt two rows in front of us was being a jackass the whole time. He spent 5 minutes arguing with a beer vendor over 50 cents, blocking everyone's view of the action. At the fireworks, we sat next to some big black ladies and I shot the breeze with one of them. She was loving life, but the fireworks were lame compared to last years'.
Last Friday, went to Casey's green-lake house for an evening of fishing and boating. Brian and I posed for pictures in Mike's speedboat with Hoot the Owl. Mike still wouldn't let us use his speedy boat so we took the "platoon" boat instead. Brian and I had a fantastic time riding the hot dog and getting continuously bucked off. The fish were laughing at us as we did not receive one bite the whole evening. The flames on the grill were three stories high and Adrienne burned half the burgers. She also put crushed glass in them.
Owen's wedding Saturday, fine time and afterward an enjoyable time of fellowship, cigars and fireworks.
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quixotic
annoyed
sore
sleepy
